When I announced that I was having a boy, I was flooded with phrases like, “Watch out for that penis!” “Make sure you cover the penis!” “Get ready to be peed on!” And the list goes on and on. And all I could think was, Really, people? This is the advice you have for me. Oh, but let me tell you. THEY. ARE. RIGHT.
Now, I’d like to share with you a little story about my son that I’m going to be calling Really, Hudson?
It was bed time. We changed Hudson’s diaper, put him in his pajamas, swaddled him up in his sleep sack, and laid him down for bed. It’s now midnight. Hudson wakes up, he’s hungry and wants to eat. I sit up in the bed and go to pick him up. I slide one hand under his head and the other under his body and I stop. My hand under his body feels that his sleep sack is damp. Then I feel his bed. It’s damp. Oh no. He peed? Through his onesie AND his sleeper AND his sleep sack AND his bed?! What. The. Heck. HUDSON! Literal hand to forehead moment. I’m tired. It’s the middle of the night, but somehow my kid manages to pee through his clothes all the way to his bed. I wake Brandon up in a frantic haze pleading for help. I manage Hudson and get him changed into a completely new outfit and sleep sack. Brandon manages Hudson’s bed and strips the cover sheet off and throws it in the washer. I finally feed him and lay him back down in his coverless bed to go back to sleep. It’s now 3am. Hudson wakes up again to eat. I get up, I slide both hands under his body. One hand under his head and one under his body. This time I feel something on my hand under his head. Wait. Is it wet?! It sure was. My son had now spit up on his coverless bed, and his poor sweet head was lying in a puddle of milk. Okay, so it wasn’t a puddle, but you get the picture! I pick him up and the back of his head was crusty from the milk starting to dry on his hair. His clothes were saturated with milk on the area around his neck. My poor sweet boy was a mess. So again, we get up to handle the mess. I change Hudson’s clothes again, clean his head and neck with a bath wipe while Brandon is hand washing Hudson’s bed mattress and blow drying it dry. Finally, I feed him, and back to bed we go. Now it’s about 7 in the morning. Brandon is already at work, and Hudson and I are getting up for the day. We go over to the changing table to change his diaper. I put a clean diaper under him before removing the dirty one to try to prevent from getting messes on the changing pad cover! After I remove the dirty diaper and start wiping him down. He pees. And no, I did not have the penis covered. Again, this was a literal hand to forehead moment. Except that there was no time for the hand to meet the forehead. I was in full disaster mode. He’s peeing, and I kid you not, it was literally spraying directly onto our wall. How does this happen?! I still don’t know. I grab another new clean diaper just to cover the penis to stop it from creating a even bigger mess. I assess the situation. Not only did he manage to get pee on the wall, but he also got pee all over the clean diaper underneath him, on the clean diaper covering his penis, his outfit AND the changing pad covering. I truly don’t know how he managed to get pee on his outfit to the point where there was a wet pee spot up his entire back that soaked through to the changing pad cover. But he did. So now I completely undress him and remove the changing pad cover from the changing pad and wipe his body down with a bath wipe. He is now butt naked and I lie him back down on the now plastic changing pad. I go to grab the now fourth diaper in this moment to put on him. Can you guess what happens next? He pees. He starts peeing AGAIN! How does this kid have this much pee inside of him?!?! I do not know. But now because there are no clothes or changing pad cover to collect and absorb the pee, this time the pee hits the plastic of the changing pad and travels all the way up his back to his head. Literally to his head. My son’s head was literally lying in a true puddle of pee. I was in shock. I picked him up and straight to the bath tub we went. Can you say ornery?
We went through three outfits in one nights sleep, and four diapers in just one changing. This guy is a handful.
Moral of the story. (If you have a boy) Cover. The. Penis. Always. If it’s not covered, don’t leave it uncovered for long. Disaster happens. All of this being said, I love my son so so much. He can pee on me and all our things as much as he wants. He is worth it.
Thank you so much for reading my Really, Hudson? story! I’m sure I will have lots more stories to share in the near future! XOXO Lydia Grace
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